Marriage: Changing Course in the Home
Dallas Bozeman : Marriage Conference : Changing Course in the Home : October 19, 2018
There is no difference between the person who intended to do something and the person who never even thought about it. Everyone wants to be better, but no one wants to change.
- Edit your life: The foundation must be laid through you and your spouse being intentional about your own personal holiness. Not fixing each other. Not fixing the kids. Edit your relationships. Who speaks into your lives? Edit your approach. How does my spouse or my children express love? We often love the way we want to receive love, so how do I edit my approach to show love.
- Pull weeds and Plant Truth: Do not let the past dictate the future. There is danger in holding on to an offense. If you feed it, you will only grow in anger and shrink in perspective. It will consume you. Angry people do not make fun spouses. Angry people raise angry children. Always remember that you have been created with a will that is stronger than your emotions. You can choose how you act, despite how you feel.
- Focus on the 8%: Focus on legitimate concerns that you can actually do something about. The problem that we have is that we burn out worrying about the other 92% all day—when we get home we are too exhausted to execute the 8%. When it comes to changing course in the home, the Holy Spirit plays the Holy Spirit better than I do. I can do something about how I provide and protect. I can disciple, I can pray, and I can point them toward Jesus every day. That’s the 8% I need to focus on.
- Anchor Down: Knowing that you are living between the already and the not yet tells you where you are located in God’s story of redemption. God has already given us His Word as our guide. He has already sent His Son to live, die, and rise again for our salvation. He has already given us His Spirit to live within us. But the world has not yet been restored. Sin has not yet been completely eradicated. We have not yet been formed in the perfect likeness of Jesus. Suffering, sadness, and death are not yet no more. It is hard to live in the middle, but that is exactly where we live. We live in a world that is still broken. Your marriage will not escape its brokenness. We live with flawed people. Your marriage will not be protected from those flaws. When you start unpacking what life is really like between the already and the not yet, you gain perspectives that are enormously helpful for understanding the things you need to face if you want a marriage that is wholesome and healthy in the eyes of God.
Our only hope is that we serve a God who chose to enter into our brokenness, die on a cross, and send the Holy Spirit to help our unbelief. When the trials come, anchor down and pray for clarity. Pray for strength. Pray that the Holy Spirit will help your unbelief.