Be Strong: The Fatherhood of God and Biblical Parenting

Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4

Brody Holloway



We learn from secular psychology that there are three phases of parenting and investing in a person over the course of their development through life.


Cop: Typically age 0-8/9

When a child is young, I must enforce laws (rules) and break the controlling and enslaving will of that child.  If not, the child will be conditioned by:

  1. Natural sin nature.
  2. Me enabling or emboldening him.

Areas this is most likely to glare and stand out would be the way they treat their mother, the way they learn to share and the way they respond when spoken to.


I need to remember that no two kids are the same so this may need to adjust from kid to kid.  This is not inconsistency but is wisdom.


Coach: Age 8-10 through 12-14

If I have done the first stage well, then somewhere in this age there will be a shift in the dynamic of the relationship.



Somewhere around age 13 or 14 (and no later than 16), I should be moving toward a counselor type role.  This should define the relationship from about age 18 through the end of life.


Note: If I flip the first two phases then it is really hard to make it to the last phase. If you already operate like a Counselor and skipped the Cop and Coach phases, it is okay. It is in the Lord’s hands so be faithful.


In Matthew and Luke 3, at the baptism of Jesus, we see what Douglas Wilson calls “The greatest father-son moment in all of history.”


Luke 3:21-22


Consider the Fatherhood of God:

  1. The Father was there.
  2. The Father made his presence felt.
  3. The Father made his presence known by speaking.  He was speaking life.
  4. The Father expressed his love for the Son.
  5. The Father expressed his pleasure in the Son.


“This is the beautiful and powerful picture of fatherhood we can aspire to.”


Ephesians 6:4—Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.  


This verse gives us one prohibition and one instruction: 


  1. Do not provoke:  Things that are sure to provoke:


  1. Bring them up:  


  1. Set an example for them:  


  1. Spend intentional time with them:


  1. Make disciples of them:



The reason for disciplining this effectively is:


Leave a Reply